" Cuz I'm Different "

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if I tell u the truth, would the world still be friendly?

if I tell my story, would u sit, listen and care?

if I fall from the sky, would u wanna catch me?

if I act silly, would u laugh at or with me?

if I'm drowning, would u lend me ur life jacket?

if life is to be praised, why do I feel guilty?

if their life is happy, then why my life is sad?

if ur friends are real, then why mine is not?

if u think u know me well, maybe u don't

if keep doing this, I just fool myself and my life

I've been learning my life well, should've known the answer since I was a child

I've been denying myself, million and million times

I've been living a lie, I just can't hold it anymore now
I've been questioning my life, which I don't really understand why
I've been singing everyday, but my love songs are different

I can smile like u, but my smile is fake

I can sing like u, but my voice is low

I can fall in love, but can never be happy

I can speak out loud, but thick walls are everywhere

I can only make my beloved cry and hurt deeply

I'm tired of being like this, maybe today's the right time for me

So here I am, standing nakedly in front of u all

No more hiding and pretending, cuz I'm sick of it already

I wanna be free from sadness, qualms, terrors, and bad dreams

Listen to me carefully, cus this story comes from my heart

So please hear my story, and accept me for who I am

If u don't like it, u can leave me, hate me, or stab me

My war is soon to be over, cuz I can see the finish line from here

A soundtrack of my life not urs, cuz I know I'm different

And in the end of the day, I just wanna be myself

Hobart, 5 Nov 2013

Have u found ur QoL?

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Have u ever thought what is the purpose of ur life?

What is the reason of God giving u a chance to live in this transitory world?

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I believe everyone ever ask themselves, a question of life, at least they ever think about it.. (",)

Whether u agree or not, some may find it easy to answer that question(s), while others find it unexplainable, though they have tried and learned by seeing deep inside their heart. Or, it could be possible, that they've found the answer and yet they're still unsure about it, who knows right?.

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Agree or disagree, IMO each of us have our own version to answer what's the QoL. it's based on the life experience we have, combined with with our life environment (believe, family, friends, education, etc).

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The next question is what do u feel with the answer? Do u feel happy, unhappy, accept for who u are, or deny it? Well, again it's u urself who can decide this. everyone would expect the answer to be happy, but it is of course not. 

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For some people living in this world is nothing but happiness, they feel like their life is on the right track and they don't wanna mess it, but for some others living in this world is a challenge, a missing puzzle which they need to solve to find out the way out. They probably already know where is the right track, yet they just don't know how to go there to complete the missing puzzle. 

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I don't know which stage I feel now, but I am expecting to have a happy life indeed. I bet we are all the same right? we want to have a happy life, where we can be true to ourselves, we can be ourselves without being afraid of others rejecting us, we love and accept the condition we deal and feel, and the most importantly is we love our selves cause we know our life is precious and only ONCE.

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In order to enjoy ur life, u have to be happy with ur feeling. I call it as reconciling with urself. Accept who u are therefore u can love ur life, respect ur life and go forward to a happylife pathway. I have discovered myself, what I really want in my life, but I'm not happy yet cuz I'm still on the process of looking for the right track for that. I am glad to say I love myself, accept my feeling, I've been questioning this QoL for a whole of my life, and I've made a decision that I know what's the answer of my QoL. The next thing I must do is being true to myself, being open to other people, never hurt or deny my feeling anymore, keep on smiling, get to that "happylife" point and I also promise to myself that my life won't be the same like urs. :-)

Finally, our life is too short to not be enjoyed & thankful...hehehe

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..Tuesday, 10/15/2013, 9.39 PM..